Through each of my posts you will get another glimpse into who, I am. I do desire to be authentic with you and I hope that you will get to know me through being here.
“You decide.” To some, these simple two words open a door of opportunities. For others, like me, they create an instant panic. Yes, I am indecisive and if you are as well, then you know exactly what I mean by instant panic. The dread and weight that settles on you, when someone asks you to take charge, in a situation that you were not originally planning to take charge of.
Now, this is something that I am working through. I am trying to be more decisive and I am trying to develop an opinion on more things. But, this is definitely a work in progress. It doesn’t matter if it’s picking a restaurant, picking an activity, a game to play, or even the next song to listen to. It’s hard for me.
I have never been a decisive person. I generally enjoy going along with what others enjoy doing and if they are happy and having fun then I probably will too. So, if that’s my thought process, then why do I have to decide?
Well…people generally ask for my opinion because they desire to get to know me on a deeper and more personal level. They want to know my likes and my dislikes so that in the future they will have an idea of the types of things that I like. It will also let them know if we have more things in common which would end up bringing us closer together. However, I can only let other people know me as much as I know myself. So, that is step number one. I have compiled list, that will help those of us who are indecisive know ourselves (which is always positive for self discovery and growth) and in turn we will be able to make decisions that will help connect us better with those we love.
Here are some of my decisive tips for the indecisive:
- I try to decide on my favourites beforehand (planning ahead for if anyone asks me what I want). That way in the moment when I don’t have a lot of time to weigh my options. I have a go to answer.
- Plead with the person to make the decision themselves because I truly do not care. If you have no preference, communicate this. People generally ask for your opinion because they care about what you think.
- Pick the more adventurous option. That way both parties may have a new experience.
- Make lists of things that you would like to try and then pick from there.
These suggestions are obviously for things that have less weighty of an impact on your life; like what movie to watch or what restaurant to go to, etc.
But you may be thinking, what about the big life choices?
Well those ones are definitely harder to tackle but generally the harder decisions allow you to have more time to think them through too. My suggestions for those would be:
- Ask God to open doors and shut doors and to make that more obvious to you. Pray that He would create within you a deep passion for one of the options (and also check your heart to see if He has already developed that in you and you just have not been paying attention to that development).
- Seek God. Stay close to God and read His Word (the Bible), pray, make yourself available to listen to Him speaking to you.
- Seek Wise Counsel. Talk to those who are older than you who care about you what they think; what parts of the decision sound wise and like great opportunity and what cautions they potentially see. Ask them to partner with you in prayer. Maybe they have been in the same or similar situation that you have been in and they can tell you from experience what some outcomes are.
- This obviously depends on what the decision would be about but do your research on the topics for the choices that you may have to make. What else can you learn about your options?
- Make pros and cons lists about the decision. Does one side outweigh the other? If there are more cons, is it a healthy risk to take?
- If you have been open with them they will know you pretty well. What are they saying about the decision? Does it fit with what they know of you?
- What are your core values in life? What means the most to you? Does this fit in with those things or is it going to go against them?
- Significant Other. If you have a significant other, then talk to them! Don’t make big decisions without consulting them. Their opinion matters and (if it’s a healthy relationship) they have your best interest in mind. Talk everything through with them.
Now, these suggestions are to be used together, not just picking one and making your big decision based on that. But the more of the resources that you have and people that you consult about the matter, the better your decision in the end is going to be. Even if you believe you are the most indecisive person on the planet you can make a decision. If I can do it, you can too!
Remember! You do not have to make big decisions all on your own. In fact I highly suggest that you don’t.
Use the community and support that you have around you, rely on God who knows your next steps already, and examine yourself and what you already know. You got this! I believe in you 🙂