First Year of Marriage

 Again, I know that it has been a while since I have written on my blog. I recognize that in my last post I had written that I would be more faithful to writing and to be consistent.  Sorry, that was inaccurate. This time I have decided to promise nothing more than that I will attempt to write and post more often. I have a desire to work on my writing in many different ways: storytelling, poetry, life event updates, God sightings, things I am learning, tips and tricks and Bible studies. I understand that there is a bit of variety going into this and that my genre of writing is not super specific.  However, since this is my page on the internet, I am trying to give myself the freedom to explore and learn without trying to fit myself into someone else’s genre box. Also, by not confining myself to a box I think it will also help me to be more consistent in posting.

 Without further ado, the writing related to the title of this post.    

What a wild ride this first year has been! I just want to give a quick overview of life events that have occurred.  I will attempt to write these all in order:

  • Married
  • Moved into our 1st apartment
  • Got our first pet, Pippin, the hedgehog
  • Started a blog
  • Josiah and I both worked at our college
  • Husband and I co-youth pastors at our church. It was supposed to be from September until December, we are now finishing up here at the end of June
  • Attended our final semester of college
  • Planned to go to New Zealand, postponed for January 2020
  • Completed a certificate program in Crisis and Trauma Recovery
  • Got flooded out of our apartment and had no home
  • Lived with an amazing family from our church for an entire month as we searched for housing
  • Josiah got a new job doing goose control in a new city (a job I was very familiar with and grew up with)
  • Found an apartment in our new city
  • Moved to our 2nd apartment
  • Started part-time attending a new church (potential for youth pastor position here)
  • Graduated from College
  • I got offered a job our first Sunday at this new church by a family who owns a farm (which I applied and interviewed for, got, and am loving). It is a Holstein and Water Buffalo dairy farm.
  • I dealt with nutrient deficiency
  • Happy 1st year of marriage

Then, of course, there are all the little things in there that also make life interesting, that cause you to think and discuss as a couple, and many little adventures along the way.  This was just a list of the bigger life events.

As we reflected back over this year in some ways it has felt like this year just flew by with everything that has happened. At the same time, so many things have happened and changed and moved that it feels like we have been married for a long time.

I’m writing this and wondering where to start with future blog posts on the different events that have occurred. Do I start with God’s amazing orchestration of everything and the incredible blessings we have received through each of these milestones?  Do I now list what the key things marriage has taught me and give another list, which I would flesh out in future posts as well? 

*I process through writing, so in reading, you will get to see my thought process along the way

I do believe that this post will be dedicated to lists because trying to do stories alongside lists would make this post unbearably long and no one would have the time to sit down and read it.  That is one of the beautiful things about blogs. I can give you all the exact same stories and information just over a longer period of time and you will read it because it is short and sweet and will not eat up your day and will just sit as an email in your inbox until you have the time to read it.

So, my list of life lessons learned over this year of marriage (likely will not be in order because it is much more difficult to make a timeline on exactly when I fully comprehended something). Also, may not all be fully related to marriage itself, but are new things I have learned throughout this year:

  • I am not as patient as I thought I was.
  • I love being a host and cooking and baking for people.
  • I am pretty particular about things and did not notice this prior to being married (will likely explain later).
  • I was not a very open person before I met Josiah in general, but since being married I have learned a lot about open communication.
  • My problems are not just my own problems when I am married. Aka, they do not just affect me.
  • I am really bad at resting well (something I kind of learned about myself through burning out).
  • I love plants and seeing new life bud and grow (I may have to insert a picture of my growing collection).
  • I have some pride issues and need to learn that constructive criticism is not a personal attack on my abilities or who I am as a person and also that my way is not the only right way, my way is sometimes the wrong way.
  • I am a morning person.
  • How submitting to a husband and being his helpmeet go hand in hand (before this I understood it theoretically, practically takes some time to figure out). Also, I know this can be a tricky subject or a taboo one in today’s society, so I will most likely be doing a post on this in particular and explain what this is, looks like, how it is healthy, how I am not a doormat, and what love and respect look like throughout this process.
  • Quality time is huge for me.
  • Marriage is continuous learning and it is wise to seek older couples for advice, to listen to podcasts and sermons, to read books, and to continue to develop growth in marriage in an intentional setting, and that the more frequently this is done the smoother things go.
  • It is important to grow in God both individually but also together as a couple.
  • It is good to have our own individual hobbies and friends; absolutely everything does not need to be done together.
  • It is also good to have couple friends who are close to our age, that we have together to talk about marriage in this stage of life and life in general in this stage of life.
  • It is also good to have common goals that we are seeking to achieve together, that we are partnering in.
  • “Clean” does not mean the exact same thing from one person to the next.
  • Both Josiah and I have flaws, we have weaknesses.  These are not things that make either of us lesser than the other person; sure we can grow in them.  But part of marriage is to support one another, remind one another, and encourage one another in everything.
  • God is faithful. His timing may not be our timing, but His timing is better. When we are seeking Him, He will lead. He does not ever leave us high and dry. He is our comfort and counselor.  He is deserving of our time and devotion.  He creates beautiful things. He answers prayers. He provides for our needs. He is full of all kinds of blessings.

Year one has been a pretty wild ride. Yet, neither of us knows anything different.  Here’s to hoping the next year is a little bit more stable and settled (at least staying in the same city and being better established and not having floods, should not happen since we are now on the top floor instead of in the basement).  We have definitely grown and learned a lot about life, each other, God, geese, water buffalo, youth, and ourselves. If year one was this much of an adventure, should be interesting to see what happens with the rest of life.

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2 thoughts on “First Year of Marriage”

  1. Looking forward to you hashing out the things on your lists! And super glad you were able to get answers about your nutrient deficiency, it was so nice to see the “old Maddi” last weekend😊 we love you, Happy almost birthday!

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